Things are moving so fast, regardless of the pandemic this year.
Time is a funny resource of exponential changes in emotions. It brings out all the best and worst of our conquest and trepidation. When you want it to slow down, it seems to vamoose from you so fast; you pant to catch up with it. And when you want it to go quickly, chances are, it will heave inch by inch, and you bite your nails out of boredom.
These past few weeks, time seems to concede with my movement all the time. It gave me some anxiety that I am not keeping up with my demands, so I reached out and asked for hubby’s help to mitigate my time issues. From there, time became my friend. It flows and ebbs with my mood swings and stipulations. It is as resilient as I intend to be.
And how the hell do I do this? I decided early this year (pre-lockdowns and such) to fulfil my life with soul-enhancing projects such as how my first poetry book, A Fraction of Momentary Love, metamorphosed into this real-deal published book. I guaranteed myself to accept the demise of my past, use that passion and revamp the anger into something gainful. Once I made this consecration to save myself, everything just transitioned from extremes and darkness 2019 into bright and lively lockdown safety 2020.
I accepted things as they are these past few months. I am still relentless to evolve and meliorate, but I cut my future some slack. It took me in so many unexpected directions that I even do not know what will come out on the other end. But this helped me to see this year’s never-ending doom benefactor differently.
Acceptance is not merely giving up but giving carefree consideration to everything around you. You are open to understanding that everything happening is not just about you. You are willing to carry on with whatever you have to make life worth living and not control the things that are out of your hands. That the “new normal” is not a freedom-stealer punk-ass bitch but a pearl of wisdom needing to unravel.
I am still in shock. I unboxed the first copies of my poetry book today. I do not fathom precisely how I feel and how to react. So this is how it feels.
Every step of the self-publishing process makes me realise how things are becoming more real and how much more hard work I have to put into it. It sends me into so many rabbit holes of knowledge, and I have to crawl back and breathe the air. I have to also choose what I do with my book or not. I’m learning so much about publishing, I am listing them all down as much as I can, and I will be able to post them at some point and help the next generations of self-publishers and indie writers/poets.
I am in full anticipation to be able to reveal the cover and the book in the next week, how amazing is that!
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