I have been mulling on how to go about writing all these valuable career experiences candidly. They were substantial turning points, testing times and reflections of how I have grown as an individual in the workplace.
I gave it time, thinking that this has to be written when I am on top of my mental and emotional summit against the anger, the conflict, the bitterness of the malice that provided the outcome of my experiences.
To begin with a series, let me spin this off with a more useful tact.
Ah, yes. This.
I rarely use a statement that I am a woman disadvantaged by my gender because, fortunately, it does not. I must admit that I knew that I am disadvantaged by my citizenship, race and appearance more than my gender* so I proactively educate and guard myself on the offensive – being positively prepared. That helped me develop my confidence and always have a goal to show that my work will have to speak for itself for me to gain respect and reputation.
I have worked with a lot of male superiors in my career. I do not mind it at all. What’s important is to hope that you could look up to them and learn something along the way. Nobody’s perfect, yet I have encountered a few different male boss characters that are “interestingly” unsavoury. To sum it up, these people lack humanity in general – their ethics and values are crap. That’s where problems start because I do not let these things pass; I make them accountable for all the lying, the maltreatment of subordinates, the lack of solid leadership, and just plainly by being a sleazy human being.
Though there is a problem. “Mansplainers” hate strong-willed women (and men for sure, but the treatment is different*). Bullies hate people standing up for themselves. They hate the truth based on good values and conduct. They mansplain and sleaze their way to find a reason to eliminate you.
One of them successfully did. Just a few months after my big deal promotion, I had to leave the job that I truly, truly, truly love, adore and was so passionate about. I resisted, trying to find a resolution not to abandon my commitment and my team. But then, it was not worth fighting for towards the bitter end after everything that unfolded. Then began saving faces, allies hiding their heads on the ground, forgetting the greater good.
This is how cunning some bully cultures cultivate mansplainers or, in general, corporate liars and ****-suckers. They could easily eliminate people who work so damn hard while valuing their company’s mission, vision and values apart from their own. It’s not a fair game. You cannot sue or file a civil complaint because you know that you’d be on the losing side even with just a mention of it. And as an ethical person, you’d choose to leave, move on and keep your values (and finances) intact instead. While the mansplainers will mansplain their way up until their lies or failures catch up with them. Yes, there’s always some justice in this world to balance good and evil. Don’t doubt it. Incompetence will show somewhat, somewhere. Don’t lose hope.
So it never ceases to amaze me to predict how these things unfold over and over again around us. I am lucky to have the foresight for the businesses I have handled or companies I have worked with. I deeply root myself into knowing the ins and outs where I work because loyalty and doing my best for the company is something I value very deeply, regardless if some of those places betrayed my hard work or trust, in the end – you give your all.
*That’s another topic, next time.